Week 16 - 2013

In six days, the Browns will give us the greatest gift of all.  They will end this nightmare season.  They will more than likely end it in the top 5 of the draft, with an extra first rounder.  They will enter the greatest season for Browns fans, the offseason.  They will hopefully draft a quarterback early, and a wide receiver, and a running back.  Because pretty much everyone they have at those positions stinks, outside of Josh Gordon.  Jason Campbell, you stink.  Brandon Weeden will be gone.  I'm rooting for Brian Hoyer, but there is no way they don't draft a quarterback.  Early.  Greg Little has to be one of the worst wide receivers in the league.  He is so terrible.  Devone Bess is dealing with "personal issues", which must be eased with reggae music and smoking blunts.  I dealt with a lot of personal issues in college.  The revolving door at running back needs to stop, although the commitment to the pass by this coaching staff, despite the awful level of quarterback play, may make that position essentially obsolete.  There will be sweeping changes, no doubt.

I don't even really want to recap the game.  I did watch it, not that closely.  I've seen this same game over and over this year.  Mediocre opponent, dropped passes, red zone inefficiency, inability to get off the field on third down, AWFUL quarterback play, etc etc etc.  But I'm happy that they lost.  Yes I am.  I don't care anymore.  This team will be awful until they get even decent play from the quarterback position.  Until then, it just doesn't matter. 

I tend to believe that this year the plan was always not to win.  I've said it before, they aren't trying to lose but they aren't trying that hard to win.  They were going to use this year to evaluate the offense while (presumably) trying to build a young aggressive defense.  There is upside on the defensive side of the ball.  The offense will look very different next season.  And it needs to.  Because it's getting painful to watch.

Assuming they lose next week, the Browns will have a top 5 pick.  They should be able to use the other picks they have to move up if needed to get a quarterback.  How does a first round of Manziel and Marquise Lee sound?  Or a move to the top of the draft for Bridgewater?  Derek Carr was underwhelming against USC, but the offense Fresno runs is absolute trash.  Blake Bortles?  Maybe.  The point is there will be a new signal caller next season and until they find a good quarterback they should draft one in the first round every year.  Because it doesn't matter in the NFL anymore unless you have one.  4-12 is likely.  I'm ready for this season to be over.  Merry Christmas.

Also, I know some people like them, but the brown pants are awful.  Orange, or white, please.  Look like crap, play like crap.


Random gifs

Stay sneaky Colorado State

Nobody ever wants to high five Tom Brady

Derp Flynn Derpy Derp

Bonus cool pic December football

Week 15 - 2013

 

The eloquent Josh Cribbs once stated about the Browns "We almost always almost win."  That's the story of the Browns.  They dropped another close game, 38-31 to the Bears yesterday.  They guaranteed themselves another season with ten plus losses, their sixth in a row and twelfth (!!!) since they've been back.  That is amazing.  That we as fans still pay to watch this team, buy jerseys, waste time writing and reading about this team is a testament to our loyalty and flat out proof that Cleveland Browns fans are the best in the country.  You don't believe me?  Did you see the "crowd" at the Steelers game last night?  Those fairweather cousinbangers in "Steeler nation" turned their back on their team after one losing season.  The Browns should be thanking their lucky stars for their fanbase, and they better start winning to reward our patience.

The game itself was unremarkable.  It was entertaining for a while, then the Browns found a way to lose.  That is pretty much the best case scenario as far as this team goes, but it still sucks every time.  I love Jay Cutler.  I'm not sure I'd love him if he played for the Browns, but I love him on other teams.  He has two giant and talented wide receivers in Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffrey, and a great running back in Matt Forte.  The Bears have a great offense.  And they looked great at times against the Browns defense.  The Browns defense looked great at times as well, returning an interception and a fumble for touchdowns by Tashaun Gipson and TJ Ward, respectively.  They also looked awful at times, their inability to get off the field on third down is maddening.  The pass rush that looked so good early in the season has not been great lately.  Joe Haden left the game in the third quarter and never came back.  And they game up 38 points.  Not great.  I still believe in the defense.  I think they are young and good and only missing a few pieces. 

But they have been exposed in some games this season.  The inside linebackers are exposed in coverage every single game.  I'd expect that position to be a priority come draft time.  Leon McFadden is growing up on the job and there have been bumps in the road.  I've always been a Tashuan Gipson fan, and I think they should resign TJ Ward.  There are still needs to be addressed.  And at times their scheme leaves something to be desired.  I like Ray Horton, but they have got to get off the field on third down.  That's the key problem with this defense.

On offense, we all know what the key problem is.  Quarterback, quarterback, quarterback.  Jason Campbell.  Not a great game.  How do you have a receiver that has been as dominant as Josh Gordon has been and not get him the ball?  Big time wide receivers need the ball early in the game to get them in rhythm.  The Browns threw Gordon one pass in the first half.  Genius.  Literally the only thing that could stop Josh Gordon is Jason Campbell.  They also couldn't run the ball effectively against a team that had given up a hundred yard rusher in six straight games.  Nor do they commit to running the ball anyways, but that's beside the point.  And Devone Bess can go away.  Gimmie Josh Cooper or someone else that will catch the rock on third down.  I can't watch him drop passes anymore, I see enough of that with Greg Little.  Come draft time, I'd expect a quarterback, a wide receiver, and a running back at some point pretty early.  The Bears offense would be my model.

Again there's not much to say.  The best thing to come out of this game is that the Browns have moved into the top 5 in the draft.  There are two more games, against the Jets and Steelers.  Two more writeups on another lost season of Browns football, then it's draft and free agency and hope and promise.  And maybe less almost winning and more actual winning.


Random gifs

This is what a punter getting hit so hard his jaw breaks looks like. 

This is how I feel everytime I see Jeff Triplette is officiating

Oh Dez.  You're my favorite.  Sorry about your quarterback.

Barry might be sleeping, but this whole thing is creepy all the way around.

BONUS CUTLER FACES

 

Week 12 - 2013

I honestly didn't see that coming.  I should have, because I've been burned before.  But I didn't.  I thought it was going to be different.  It wasn't.  I thought the Browns were the better team.  They weren't.  I thought the coaches would have the Browns ready to play.  They didn't.  I thought the Browns would win.  They didn't.

Does that about sum it up?  Another game against the Steelers, at home, and another loss.  Another lifeless performance, not one but two Brandon Weeden sightings, passive coaching, poor special teams.  Awful all the way around in a 27-11 loss to a lousy Steelers team.


Ben Roethlisberger, sex predator, essentially treated the Browns defense like they were guests in his own personal barroom bathroom.  He did whatever he wanted.  The Browns generated no pressure, they gave Antonio Brown and Emmanuel Sanders ample room, and they allowed Le'Veon Bell to run through them.  They were powerless at times.  The offense certainly doesn't help the defense by constantly turning the ball over and failing to score when given good field position, but the defense needs to create turnovers and pressure quarterbacks.  And the defensive players took shots at the offense after the game.  CHEMISTRY!

Jason Campbell apparently has a rib injury.  It must be bad because getting tackled by the ankle even aggravates it.  If he's hurt then he shouldn't be playing.  He had ample time in the pocket for most of the first half and generated very little, especially when gifted good field position.  If Chris Ogbonnaya can't hold on to the football then stop giving it to him.  Give it to Willis and Fozzie.  They only run the ball ten times every game.  Let's minimize some risk here.  But an ankle tackle forced Campbell out of the game in the second quarter, and Weeden came in and promptly fired a fastball that a quickly regressing Jordan Cameron dropped.  And then the wheels came off, Antonio Brown ran past Joe Haden for a touchdown, then Obie fumbled and Pittsburgh got three more points.  At 13-3, the Steelers had it essentially wrapped up at halftime.

The Steelers knocked the fragile Campbell from the game for good in the third quarter, then the home crowd was treated to some more Brandon Weeden.  He only fumbled once and threw a pick six, so all and all a pretty decent game out of him.  Josh Gordon is the only weapon on this offense now that Cameron has packed it in, and he was uncoverable.  Imagine what he would do with a good quarterback.  He had 14 catches and 237 yards.  He's a stud.  This is a team that is moving towards unwatchable territory.  The pillow fight next week between the Browns and the Jags should be epic.  I might be secretly hoping for a Browns loss, one step closer to a franchise quarterback.

The one thing that the Browns do better than anybody in the league, possibly any other team in the history of football, is throw the ball short of the first down marker on third or fourth down.  IF YOU NEED FIVE YARDS RUN A FIVE YARD PASS ROUTE!  NOT 4 NOT 3, FIVE STINKING YARDS. 

3-10-PIT 36 (7:56) (Shotgun) 17-J.Campbell pass short right to 15-D.Bess ran ob at PIT 31 for 5 yards.

 

3-5-CLE 25 (14:20) (Shotgun) 17-J.Campbell pass short middle to 18-G.Little to CLE 29 for 4 yards (20-W.Allen).

 

3-7-CLE 28 (6:53) (Shotgun) 3-B.Weeden pass short left to 15-D.Bess to CLE 34 for 6 yards (22-W.Gay).

 

4-16-CLE 30 (1:08) (No Huddle, Shotgun) 3-B.Weeden pass short right to 15-D.Bess to CLE 38 for 8 yards (22-W.Gay).

It is the most maddening thing.  I don't understand.  It's going to be a long five games.

Anyways for the 24th time in the 29 regular season games that the Browns and Steelers have played since 1999, the Steelers won.  I don't even know why I'm surprised.  I don't know why I expect anything different.  It's not different.  It won't be until we get a real quarterback, not a fragile journeyman or a 30 year old baseball player.  A real, legit quarterback.  If you think you can win without one in the NFL, you can't.


Random gifs

Pictures is a man's game

This is a pretty solid td dance

Oh Braxton.  Be careful.

#BeatBlue

 

 

 

 

Edit Had to add this gem of two drunk Bears fans racing

 

 

Week 11 - 2013

No pressure, no diamonds, as the old quotes says.  Well in the biggest game in years for your Cleveland Browns, the Browns succumbed to the pressure and created something closer to dog crap than diamonds.  They blew harder than the wind.  They played an absolutely embarrassing game to the Bengals, a team that could not have beaten them had they not beaten themselves.  Andy Dalton is awful.  An absolute liability.  I don't even hate the Bengals like I hate the Steelers and the Ravens.  If they had a real quarterback they'd be a legitimate Super Bowl contender.  But they have Andy Dalton.  And he tried to give the Browns the game.  But these Browns are a stubborn group, refusing the early Christmas gifts and returning the favor in spades. What a travesty.  Bengals 41, Browns 20. 

At some point in the first quarter, before the weather turned nasty, the Browns appeared on their way to destroying the Bengals and launching their playoff push.  Andy Dalton was confused on which Cleveland Brown he wanted to complete passes to.  But something happened to Jason Campbell.  I'm not sure why the Browns want to pass the ball from the 1 yard line.  I don't understand it I would literally qb sneak everytime from the 1.  But what do I know, when you can pass the ball and kick field goals I guess why bother.  Anyway from the 1 yard line Jordan Cameron was wide open and Campbell missed him.  He followed that up by having Greg Little wide open and firing the ball into the chest of the only defender between the Browns and 6 points.  At some point in that sequence, Jason Campbell turned into some sort of Colt McCoy/Alex Smith clone.  He never recovered.  He showed why the Browns are his fourth NFL team, and he's never been viewed as a long term answer at any of his previous stops.  He probably played himself on Sunday and not the role of Otto Graham as he had in his previous 2 starts.  He is who he is.  And he was himself in Cincinnati.  He constantly checked down to his running backs and tight ends, completing just 7 of his 54 passes to wide receivers. He held the ball and didn't move out of the pocket.  I honestly had a moment where I thought Brandon Weeden might give them a better chance.  That's how bad Jason Campbell was.  It wasn't all his fault but if he was better the Browns had an opportunity to win.  Especially early.  The opportunities were there to bury the Bengals, and they couldn't do it.

I can't say what the Browns did on their bye week to prepare for this game.  It really was a big game.  They were 1.5 games behind Cincy with winnable games on the horizon.  Win this one and they're right in it.  But they cracked under pressure.  The coaches and the players.  Cracked.

According to this post if a team blocks a punt they win the game 90% of the time.  The Bengals blocked TWO Cleveland punts.  TWO!!!!!  IN ONE GAME!  What the hell did Chris Tabor do during the bye week?  I don't know who is to blame, but it sure looked like Spencer Lanning was slow getting the ball kicked.  But there were blocking problems as well.  One would think those problems would be solved after the first punt was blocked, but again these Browns are a stubborn bunch.  In addition to the TWO!!!!!  punt blocks in one quarter, the Browns allowed a defensive touchdown off an Ogbonnya fumble.  Devone Bess was wide open on the play also.  But JaColt McCampbell was determined to get his running backs the ball on passes.  ALOT.  I might pay for the All-22 just so I can watch this game.  I'm shocked at how often Campbell checked down.  Shocked.  I can't imagine that Josh Gordon or Devone Bess couldn't win one on one against the Bengals secondary.  Shocked.

The Browns were shocked too.  In the second quarter they allowed 31 points.  31 points.  31 points.  In a quarter.  To a team whose quarterback was playing AWFUL.  Unbelievable.  Only in Cleveland.  To cap off the stupidity show in the second quarter, Jordan Cameron actively worked to get out of bounds on a 0 yard pass play on a third and thirteen with 34 seconds left in the half.  All he has to do is go down and at least force the Bengals to use their last timeout, assuming they would have.  They may have just taken it into the locker room.  But instead the Browns punted, gave up a 27 yard return, and gave the Bengals an additional 3 points before the half.  Just a stupid football play. 

Giving up 31 points in one game is bad.  Giving up two punt blocks in a season is bad.  Somehow the Browns gave this up in one quarter.  There's nothing else to say about it.  What else can possibly be said?

The second half was just as bad as the first from an offensive standpoint.  It was just a horrible game all around.

I can't figure out these Browns.  When I think they need to lose they win.  When they need to win they lose.  It doesn't matter anymore.  They're still in contention for a playoff spot in a weak AFC, especially with their upcoming schedule.  They need to start with Pittsburgh next week. 


Random gifs

Holy Auburn

LOLOL

Apparently this is now a 15 yard penalty in the NFL.  What a joke.

Good try good effort Texas Tech.  Thanks UC.

Week 9 - 2013

Dear Jason Campbell -

I'm sorry.  I'm sorry I lumped you in the same category as Brandon Weeden.  It was an honest mistake.  I just didn't know.  I'm really sorry.  You just played a great football game.  You played through pain all game after Haloti Ngata's giant body tried to smash your insides, making throws and moving the pocket with your legs.  You completed 23 out of your 35 passes, for 262 yards and 3 touchdowns.  You didn't have a turnover for a second straight week.  You are the reason the Browns won.  You are the first Browns quarterback since 2007 to beat the Ravens, and I hate the Ravens.  It was glorious.  You outplayed the Super Bowl MVP, Joe Flacco.  So thank you, and I'm sorry.  And tell Devone Bess I'm super sorry for being super mean to him, too.  He played great.  And War Damn Eagle from my Auburn folk.

Love Eric.


Seriously though I was wrong about Jason Campbell.  I really didn't think it mattered who the quarterback was after Brian Hoyer was injured.  But clearly it matters.  Jason Campbell played a fantastic football game on Sunday, leading the Browns to their first win over the Ravens since 2007, breaking the streak of 11 straight losses.  That is insane.  The last time the Browns beat the Ravens Josh Gordon was a junior in high school.  Joe Thomas was a rookie.  Romeo Crennel was the coach.  Goodness that is almost unfathomable in today's NFL.  The 24-18 victory also marks the first time the Browns have defeated Joe Flacco and John Harbaugh.  Lookout NFL here come the Browns!

The Browns are now 4-1 when Campbell or Hoyer have started, 0-4 when Brandon Weeden started. 


His offensive weapons certainly helped him out this week.  Devone Bess, that's what we've been expecting.  What a great bounce back game for him, catching two of Campbell's touchdowns.  He only caught 3 passes, but two were on fourth down.  He made the play of the game when he came back and secured Campbell's pass on fourth and one late in the game.  That's what we've been waiting for from him.  And seriously what the hell Greg Little?  Why can't you play like that every week?  Little was everywhere, snaring passes in traffic and showing some speed after the catch.  Of course he had two personal foul penalties, but screw the Ravens after 11 straight losses it was good to see some swagger and attitude.  The Browns were the better, more talented team.  Offensively, defensively, and on special teams.  And I'm really starting to love Rob Chudzinski.  I love the aggressiveness, going for it on 4th and 1 early in the game and converting for the touchdown, and late in the game to secure the victory.

Defensively, the Browns were really good.  Baltimore couldn't run the ball.  They couldn't really protect Flacco, although he made some plays with his feet.  The defensive front got great pressure, from just about everybody.  Armonty Bryant looks like he's going to be a pretty good player.  He certainly looks the part with those long arms and seems to use his hands well when pass rushing.  He appears to be a pretty good find by Banner and Lombardi.  Phil Taylor, Desmond Bryant, and Ahtyba Rubin are fun to watch.  Joe Haden got his first interception of the season.  TJ Ward is playing at a Pro-Bowl level.  Ray Horton's defense really is fun to watch, they are fast and swarming and everything I want from a defense.  I still think they're a couple players away from being really really great, but I do love watching them.  The Ravens had two weeks to get a gameplan put together coming off the bye, and the Browns stymied them pretty good.  It was Harbaugh's first loss coming off of a bye. 

The one thing I'll say is that they had the Ravens in third and long almost the entire game and allowed them to convert 7 out of 16 times.  That's not terrible but I think they're good enough to get off the field more frequently.  And again seems like nitpicking here but on offense they need to run to the left.  All game they ran right and got stuffed.  Joe Thomas is really good, maybe they should run behind him.

So here we are again.  When I convince myself that this team is going to lose, and that it is better for them to lose, they suck me back in.  They are 4-5 and have a bye week, then Cincinnati and Pittsburgh.  They certainly have a chance to get back into the race in the AFC North, and again this game proves that with pretty good play from the quarterback, this team is pretty good.  Just how good we will find out here in the second half of the season.  After the roller coaster ride the first nine games have been, I'm sure it will be interesting.


Random gifs

A "Michigan Man" everybody

 

 

Creepy

Justin Blackmon you idiot

Week 8 - 2013

Detmer.  Couch.  Pederson.  Wynn.  Holcomb.  Garcia.  McCown.  Dilfer.  Frye.  Anderson.  Quinn.  Dorsey.  Gradkowski.  Delhomme.  Wallace.  McCoy.  Weeden.  Lewis.  Hoyer.  Campbell.

There are your twenty starting quarterbacks of the Cleveland Browns since they returned in 1999.  I've seen the jersey with all the names, but actually typing it out is stunning.  What a world class collection of never were's and never should have beens.  Jason Campbell started against the Chiefs at Arrowhead on Sunday, losing 23-17.  Jason Campbell makes 20 starting quarterbacks in the past 14 seasons.  Jason Campbell wasn't terrible, Jason Campbell was better than some names on that list, and Jason Campbell may end up starting every game for the rest of the season.  When the clock runs out on the 2013 season, the main priority will be to find quarterback 21, and have him be the long term solution that this franchise has been lacking.

It's a difficult thing, watching your team and knowing that despite being only halfway through the season the best thing for them would be to lose.  Even with the knowledge and understanding that it is not in the Browns best interest to win anymore games, I cannot help but root for them, to get excited, to want to see them victorious.  I am a Browns fan, one who has seen a tremendous amount of losing in my lifetime.  So yeah, I wanted the Browns to win on Sunday, when they had an opportunity to do so.  But ultimately it's another loss, and another step closer to a franchise quarterback.  This is going to be the way I soothe myself after these games, by continually telling myself that this is true.  It is the truth.  But DAMMIT the Chiefs aren't as good as their record, Alex Smith is terrible, and the Browns should have won.  What the hell Devone Bess???  *Exhales*.

Jason Campbell played okay.  He did not do anything to lose the game.  I think it's fair to say he played better than Brandon Weeden would have.  He found Josh Gordon and Jordan Cameron, his two best playmakers.  He got rid of the ball.  He played a decent game, but that's what he is - a decent quarterback.  He is not the quarterback of the future, he's the next in line until that franchise quarterback is found.  The performances by Hoyer and now Campbell prove two things.  One, that Brandon Weeden is pretty awful.  And two, that if this team had a good quarterback, it would make some noise. 

The game itself started miserably, both for the offense and the defense.  It was an admirable job by the coaching staff to both slow down the Chiefs and get the offense going after falling behind 13-0 and then 20-7.  Ray Horton's defense played a great second half and the Browns were in a position to win the game.  Norv and Chud pulled out the flea flicker to revitalize a stagnant offense.  They were able to get back in the game.  However it wasn't enough.  Devone Bess (more like Devone Worse AMIRITE) was absolutely awful.  Not only did he fumble away a punt that would have put the Browns near midfield down only three points, he also dropped 3 passes, none more important than the fourth down play in the 4th quarter with the game on the line.  What a horrible game from a player that was supposed to stabilize the wide receiver position.  But ultimately the Browns lost, which is the best thing for the Browns.  And that sucks but it is the truth. 

It is going to be a rough final 8 games I have a feeling, but in the end it is what is best for the future of the franchise.  I'm going to be writing that a lot I have a feeling.

A final takeaway from this game is that Josh Gordon is the best player on the Browns offense, and trading him for a second round pick is lunacy.  Here's another list - Kevin Johnson, Quincy Morgan, Dennis Northcutt, Brian Robiskie, Mohammed Massaquoi, Greg Little.  Those are the second round receivers that have been drafted by this team since '99.  AWFUL.  All of Gordon's 8 career touchdowns have come from 20 yards or more.  He is one of the most talented wide receivers I've ever seen in a Browns uniform, and he's only 22 years old.  But because he's one strike away from a one year ban, they are going to trade him for pennies on the dollar?  Instead of putting a program in place and throwing all the resources they have to work with him?  I just don't get it.  Maybe it will happen, maybe it won't.  Either way it will be a relief when the trade deadline has passed.  I'd still trade Greg Little for a bag of footballs.


Random gifs

I love Dez and I hate Romo so I get it

 

TBDBITL

 

 

Sus girl shaking