Week 5 - 2014 - Titans

Well that was an interesting game.  The Browns won yesterday, 29-28 over the Titans.  Just your average 25 point comeback on the road, the largest deficit ever made up on the road in NFL history, and the largest comeback in Browns history.  Once again they fell behind in the first half, only to have Brian Hoyer lead them to victory.  This Brian Hoyer guy is moving rapidly from "game manager" to "captain comeback" and "a winner" if you're keeping score on quarterback cliches.  How they ever got down 28-3 to the Titans is another story, but the fact is they won, and as we all know it's a results based business.  The Browns have evened up their record at 2-2, with all four games decided by a field goal or less, and all 4 games decided in the final 2 minutes.  The Kardiac Kids are back.

Let's start with the Titans, who are basically the Ravens without the success.  They were owned by a scumbag named Bud Adams who moved them from Houston where they were the Oilers.  Adams basically held Houston hostage for 10 years before moving the team, much like Art Modell did here.  Adams employed huge ahole Jeff Fisher for 16 (!) years.  Jeff Fisher is the WORST.  They also decided it was a good idea to honor Rob Bironas, their former kicker, before the game and with a decal on their helmets.  What happened to Rob Bironas you ask?  Well a few weeks ago he got ridiculously drunk, went driving, nearly ran two cars off the road (explicitly threatening to kill one carload of people) before smashing his own vehicle into a tree, killing himself.  (For the record it's obviously a horrible tragedy that Bironas died but I'm not sure the manner he did is something that you should celebrate.)  They also drafted noted scumbag Taylor Lewan, Michigan Man.  Your Tenneessee Titans everyone.

Going into the game with the Browns, the Titans were 1-3.  They had lost 3 straight games, getting outscored 100-34 in the process.  They hadn't scored a point in the first quarter all season.  They were led on offense by Jake Locker, who should have been a welcomed sight to the Browns after facing Ben Roethlisberger, Drew Brees, and Joe Flacco, all Super Bowl champion quarterbacks.  Basically, the Titans stink, and the Browns were coming off a bye to shore up their defensive problems.  It should be an easy win, right?  But part of the problem is that teams also look at the Browns as easy wins.  That's part of the reputation that this Browns team needs to shake.  And the Titans came out like they were the better team, and they expected to win.  And the Browns came out and looked like the team that played that disgusting first half against the Steelers.  They couldn't tackle.  They couldn't get off blocks.  They couldn't get off the field on third down against a team that was the worst in the league at converting them.  They certainly couldn't cover anyone.  They were rushing six and getting no pressure.  They fell behind 28-3, it was awful.  The best thing that happened to the Browns in the first 25 minutes or so was that Jake Locker hit his thumb on Buster Skrine's helmet and had to leave the game.  That sent Charlie Whitehurst into the game, one of Nashville's most beautiful people.  And while that didn't help immediately with Whitehurst torching Buster Skine, once Charlie Whitehurst realized that he's Charlie Whitehurst, the Browns were able to start chipping away.

It was not a pleasant first half though.  Mike Pettine, I kind of think your team should have been a little more prepared, a little more ready to play.  Pettine is a defensive guy, that's his background.  But man his defense has looked bad at times.  It seems clear that what he wants to do right now on defense, isolating corners in one on one coverage and pressuring the quarterback, he cannot.  It hasn't worked.  Haden, Skrine, and Gilbert have all been torched at times.  It may be time to pare it back a little.  I still wonder what is going on with the defensive play calling, if it's O'Neil or if it's Pettine.  Whatever is going on, it hasn't looked good, especially early in games.  This is a very poor tackling team also.  The Browns were able to score a touchdown before the half and went into the locker room down 28-10. 

And much like the Pittsburgh game, they came out of the locker room and stuck with the plan.  I love Kyle Shanahan.  I think there were times that he could have run the ball even more.  On both possessions that the Browns went for it on fourth down and were stopped in the second half I thought they could have kept pounding with the run game, but it's easy to second guess.  But he never abandoned the run game.  They never panicked.  They went more uptempo, and it worked (shocking), and they were able to move the ball in the second half.  The balance on offense is outstanding, for the year they've had 138 pass plays and 127 runs.  Ben Tate looked great.  Travis Benjamin went from goat to hero with two great touchdown catches.  Amazing how no one talks about the receivers anymore.  Hawkins, Gabriel, Austin and Benjamin all made big plays in the second half.  And Hoyer is becoming captain clutch.

There were other factors that worked into this comeback, most notably that the Titans stink and make stupid plays and coaching decisions.  Penalties by the Titans wiped out two HUGE Browns turnovers.  One was on a Benjamin muffed punt (probably need to leave him off of punt returns), and one was on an interception.  So those were huge plays in the game that went the Browns way (that even feels weird to type).  And Ken Whisenhunt made some absolutely idiotic coaching decisions, from throwing the ball with the lead 3 straight plays when they needed to run the clock out to the ill-fated quarterback sneak on 4th and 1 that gave the ball back to the Browns in Titan territory.  He exasperated the problem by challenging the play and burning a timeout.  The Titans are a bad team.  The Browns outgained the Titans in yardage in the second half 278 to 126, and scored the last 26 points of the game.  However, the Browns hadn't won a road game since last year against Minnesota, losing their previous 7, so this was a big win regardless of the opponent.  And credit has to go to Mike Pettine for challenging the spot on that key 3rd down reception by Walker.  Pettine won the challenge and that proved to be a gamechanger.  And the special teams shockingly didn't blow it, and Tank Carder made a huge play, which just goes to show what a weird weird game this was.  Carder's blocked punt was the first by the Browns since November 2003.

The Browns are back to .500, 2-2, with the Steelers coming to town next Sunday.  After that it goes at Jacksonville, home against Oakland and Tampa Bay, at Cincinnati, then home against Houston.  They really do have a chance to make some noise, that is not a murder's row of opponents.  They have scored at least 21 points in their first four games for the first time since 1969.  They are stressful but apparently never out of the game.  They have a local boy leading them.  There is a lot to like here.  Although it wasn't pretty, they won.  And a win is a win.  The Kardiac Kids are back, keep your defibulators close by.


Random gifs

Hoyer's got some wiggle

Damn Julio

Not great defense on the Hail Mary, USC (sorry D)

Bonus Pic - Saddest Browns fans

Week 3 - 2014 - Ravens

I forget who said it, maybe former Steeler Ryan Clark, but I was watching NFL Network one day and the comment was made about the Browns that you know if you play them close, they'll find a way to lose the game (EDIT It was former Ravens and current Browns coach Wilbert Montgomery).  Well whoever said it had it right.  Play like a Brown, Pettine says.  Boy did they.  He should use Coach like a Brown, too, because boy they did.  They blew another game, 23-21 to the Ravens.  They played like the Browns we've all seen over the past 16 seasons.  What other franchise consistently loses games they should win?  I can think of a couple teams blowing a couple games, but the Browns do it almost weekly.  At least the Jaguars are a consistent dumpster fire, same with the Raiders.  I think those two are the only other franchises I hold in the same esteem that I hold the Browns.  Garbage teams that make stupid mistakes, but they don't just give away wins like the Browns do.  NO ONE DOES!!!!  It seems impossible to blow it week in and week out.  But no, alas, it's possible.  Because this team will do it.  They'll find a way to lose.

I don't even know where to begin.  First of all, what did we as a collective fan base do to deserve having to be emotionally invested in this team, other than being born in a certain area or having parents that were fans?  No one in the past 20 years has just up and decided "Oh I'm going to be a Browns fan that seems fun!"  Because it's a horrifying existence.  I want to change sides, to become a fan of an actual, respectable team.  Maybe the Colts or the Bears.  But I just can't.  And I hate myself for it.

Instead I get treated to games like the one on Sunday.  Let's just check some boxes on how much this loss sucked.  At home.  Check.  To the scum of the Earth, and a division rival.  Check.  Had the lead in the 4th quarter.  Check.  Lost on a last second play.  Check.  Yup I'd say that about covers it.  It sucked, and not just a little.  A bunch.  This group of Browns had a chance to be different than the other Browns, and announce that they aren't going to be a punching bag in the AFC North anymore, that they have a chance to really make some noise this year with a soft schedule, that it's not going to be the same old Browns.  But it is.  IT ALWAYS IS.

Mike Pettine put the loss on himself and the coaches.  Uhh yeah Mike, that's where I'd start.  So Mike Pettine has a defensive coordinator, Jim O'Neil.  And Jim O'Neil calls the defenses sometimes, but Mike Pettine wants to call the defenses sometimes.  And then for the second straight game there are 12 players in the defensive huddle on multiple occasions.  Hmmm, I wonder what would cause confusion with that streamlined setup?  Garbage.

Chris Tabor, our special teams coach, is literally the worst coach in the league at his position.  Somehow, like a little blond parasite, he keeps surviving coaching changes.  He is horrible.  People think he's good.  He's not.  I've been saying it for two years.  His unit loses the Browns games.  On a team without a bunch of big play offensive threats you cannot lose the special teams battle, but we do.  Often.  His unit has consistently underperformed, going back as far as last year.  Remember that one time when we had two punts blocked in one quarter?  That was fun.  On Sunday he tried to up even that performance.  First play of the game, offsides on the kickoff.  Two missed field goals, well I guess one was blocked so that doesn't count, right?  His long snapper is low on everything, his kicker can't hit a kick further than about 40 yards, and the defensive tackle protecting the right side let a guy run right in front of him to block a kick.  We lost by 2, by the way.  Oh and let's not ignore the fact that when we needed our punter to let one fly on the last series he powered one for 40 yards.  Oh and why were we in that position?  Because Travis Benjamin, the most terrified football player I've ever seen, let a punt go sailing over his head instead of fair catching it, giving up 20 yards of field position in the process.  TRAVIS BENJAMIN IS AFRAID TO GET HIT.  GET HIM THE F OFF THE FIELD!!!!!!!  He had no business being out there, especially with a reliable option like Jim Leonhard on the bench.  Chris Tabor.  Billy Cundiff.  Christian Yount.  Travis Benjamin.  Get rid of them all they are putrid.  You could put this loss squarely on this unit, and you wouldn't be wrong.

Defensively, in addition to the stupid penalties, not a great game.  They were pretty much gashed by the Ravens run game.  Ahtyba Rubin is just stealing Jimmy Haslam's money at this point.  He can't stop the run.  Going into this last game he was PFF's worst rated defensive tackle, I can't imagine this performance changed that.  Craig Robertson is still playing for some reason.  I just can't figure it out.  But nonetheless, the defense did rise up and make some critical stops when they needed to.  They stopped Baltimore on a key fourth quarter 4th down, they held them to a field goal from the goalline to maintain the lead, and they got the Browns the ball back with a chance to close out the game.  But when it was really time to make a play, they played like Browns.  Joe Haden, $67.5 million dollar Pro Bowl shut down cornerback, gets burned on a straight go route by a 36 year old wide receiver, and that's your ballgame.  Joe Haden, maybe the best defensive player on this team, has been absolutely destroyed in every game this season.  He and Gilbert, this great cornerback duo, have been simply awful.  If they don't get better this team isn't winning too many more games.  And get set before the plays start, Browns defensive backs.  Bill Kern is right, they never look ready for the snap.

On offense, no team in the league knows how to waste momentum like the Browns.  Lets take a look at some big plays.

43 yard pass completion to Travis Benjamin!  Have to call timeout after the play.

21 yard pass to Miles Austin on a 2nd and 23!  Next play, Brian Hoyer 1 yard scramble, then punt on 4th and 1 from the Baltimore side of the field.  (Punt went into the endzone, of course).  Never punt on 4th and 1 from the other teams side of the field.

Creative pass play to Manziel for 40 yards!  Penalty on Terrance West.

22 yard run by Crowell!  Next play, some sort of reverse counter to Taylor Gabriel that lost 10 yards.

Interception by Tashaun Gipson!!  Next play 8 yard loss on a bungled looking pitch play to Crowell.

70!!! Yard pass to Gabriel (who fell down on a perfect pass)!  Next play, one yard loss on a West run.  Then a sack.  Then a touchdown except Hoyer threw the ball 5 yards past the line of scrimmage.  Then a easy field goal.  Blocked.

And the offense actually played well!  Hoyer had his best game, probably the best game a guy like that can have, and he lost at home and put 21 points up.  When Hoyer had to make a throw, even tossing out the second to last series where he threw two incompletions when they could have run the clock, when he absolutely had to hit Andrew Hawkins between the 1 and the 6, to seal the game, he was behind Hawkins who couldn't pull it in.  Ballgame.  He played well, I'm not discounting that.  No turnovers, long sustained drives, big plays.  But when they needed it he missed Hawk.  And they lost, and that's what matters.

I hate the Ravens on a plane that not even the Steelers can touch.  I hate them with all of my being.  I hate losing to them.  I hate that the Browns lose games consistently that they should win.  I hate that I'm invested in this team after seeing this for so long.  I hate Chris Tabor.  But most of all I hate the feeling in this city after a loss like that.  This team had a chance to do something big, and they let us all down.  Offense, defense, special teams, coaching.  All of them.  They all played like Browns.  Someday, that will mean something different.  Not today.

Random gifs

Browns fans baby

Ouch

Ouch

Bonus pic new favorite fan

Week 2 2014 - Saints

I've been to many home openers over the past 16 seasons.  I had yet to see them win an opener, until yesterday.  It was always the sad walk back over the bridge, the sad angry walk.  The sad lowering of expectations.  The sadness and fear that it's going to be another long, lousy season.  Not yesterday.  Yesterday that walk was pure joy.  It had been 10 years since they won their first home game, when Butch Davis and Jeff Garcia led the Browns to a victory over the Ravens.  10 freaking years, until yesterday.  So apparently the right combination of people to go to a game with to see a victory is Biff, Jack, Peebs, and DeSantis.  Thanks again Biffer.

But I digress.  The Browns beat the Saints yesterday, 26-24.  The Browns beat the Saints in front of a LOUD and rowdy crowd.  Brian Hoyer led the Browns on a game winning drive, and the Browns beat the Saints.  The defense held Drew Brees in check for the most part, and the Browns beat the Saints, in their home opener, 26-24 running their record to 1-1.  It just feels good to say.  The Browns won.

For what it's worth in terms of making the playoffs, teams that start 0-2 only make the playoffs 11% of the time, so they really had to win this game in order to stay ahead of the chains, so to speak.  41% of 1-1 teams make them.  Had to have this one, and they got it.

There are a few takeaways from the big win. 

First off, and this is coming from a big time Johnny Manziel guy, this is Brian Hoyer's team.  Hoyer is now 4-1 as a starter for the Browns.  He also has not turned the ball over in his last 4 starts.  He is efficient, he is a leader, and he has a knack for turning it on when he needs to.  It's hard not to root for him, he's one of us.  And this is his team, and while I had the timetable for Johnny Football taking over as after the bye, it seems apparent that Johnny will have to wait.  I'd love to see Hoyer throw with more accuracy early in the game, but at least today that seems like nitpicking.

Manziel did make his debut, on a package of plays in the 3rd quarter, but I'm not sure how effective that package will be assuming it continues.  If it did anything it pissed Brian Hoyer off, because he was 15-19 following Manziel's insertion.  And Kyle Shanahan is the best offensive coordinator we've had here in a long time.  And yes I'm basing that off of two games.  The guy can call a game.

The two rookie running backs looked impressive.  They both fit Shanahan's one-cut zone blocking scheme.  Hawkins is a great little receiver.  And you have to give Gary Barnidge credit, he had his best game as a Brown, his biggest play was the catch on the 4th down conversion on the final drive.

Everyone used to love Rob Ryan while he was here, but that last drive was classic Rob Ryan.  Blitz but don't get to the quarterback and leave a wide receiver wide open.  Classic.  Rob.  Ryan.  Sean Payton didn't appreciate it either it seems.

Defensively, that was an impressive performance.  Except for Jimmy Graham, who is almost impossible to cover, the Browns defense limited the Saints' high powered offense.  Karlos Dansby has already made more plays in two games than D'Qwell Jackson did in 8 years here.  He is awesome.  Paul Kruger looks GREAT.  He looks like a totally different player.  Pettine's defense clearly had Brees confused in the beginning of the game, and they made a huge play when they needed to, when Dansby sacked Brees on a 3rd and 7, knocking the Saints out of field goal range and giving the Browns the ball back with a chance to win the game.  The defense was aggressive all game.  All things considered they played great.  They even added a pick 6 by my man Tashaun Gipson.  The Saints ran the ball better than you would have expected them to, but it's pick your poison with them.

And although the special teams had the hiccup on the extra point, they were decent enough.  K'wuan Williams had some big hits on kick coverage.  And of course, Cundiff hit the game winner from 26 yards.

But again, the sun shines brighter around here when the Browns win.  People smile more.  The flowers smell better.  Life is just a little more pleasant.  And in terms of the season, this is a big win for the Browns.  It's big because it was at home, against a good team, and it's big because 0-2 is probably too big of a hole for this team to dig out of.  Let's see if Hoyer can keep the magic going next week against the Ravens, and keep that walk from the stadium joyous. 


Random gifs


So Happy




Poor Jay Cutler this looks painful




Nice Catch Rueben





Bonus Pic - DEAL WITH IT

Week 1 - 2014 - Steelers

The hours before the season opener (besides the draft our Super Bowl) are usually the best time as a Browns fan.  Nothing awful has happened yet.  There is a glimmer of hope that maybe this year is our year.  Maybe the balls bounce our way this season, maybe we finally have a competent and functional organization, maybe this year's opener will be different then the last 9 (all losses) and 14 of the 15 since we've been back.  Maybe Mike Pettine will be a diamond in the rough and turn into a great head coach, maybe Brian Hoyer will write the hometown hero story, or maybe Johnny Manziel will take over and wreck this league.  There is hope, optimism, anticipation.  And then the games start and it's the same old same old, poor quarterback play, poor tackling, poor coaching.  It's the same play with a different cast of characters.  And yesterday, on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, ultimately the result was the same.  A loss, which makes it ten (10!!!!) straight opening day losses for the Browns, who fell to the Steelers 30-27.  Only this time, the second act played out a little differently and may have kept hope and optimism flowing in this town for at least another week.

The game was really a game of two different halves.  Really different halves.  The first half caused this guy to make this, (warning - foul language alert) and I was right there with him.  It was an unmitigated disaster that made the Pat Shurmur coached Browns look like the 1964 championship team.  It was bad.  It was really really bad.  They couldn't block.  They couldn't tackle.  They couldn't execute simple football plays.  The punter got kicked in the face.  The Steelers racked up nearly 370! yards and staked out to a 27-3 lead.  It was Shock and Awe. 

It was clear to me anyway that Hoyer was not comfortable throwing in the first half, and was afraid to get hit.  Everything was off his back foot.  He did not trust his knee and did not want to get hit in it.  Travis Benjamin also did not want to get hit, jumping out of bounds short of first downs and fair catching punts with ample space in front of him.  Benjamin was awful in my opinion, but I suppose it's worth noting that he too is coming back off of an ACL tear.  The defense was embarrassingly bad.  The tackling was wretched.  Special teams was a disaster.  I don't even want to list the players who were awful in the half because they all played so bad.  All of them.  They were all horrible.  It seemed like Daryl Ruiter's prediction may not have even been safe.

This will be the first time in 3 years that the #Browns will return from Heinz Field and not fire their head coach after
— Daryl Ruiter (@RuiterWrongFAN) September 5, 2014

Something happened though at halftime that has rarely happened in the recent history of the Browns.  The Browns decided they weren't going to get bullied anymore.  The Browns have LEADERSHIP in their locker room this year, and those leaders were not going to let them lay down and take it.  I honestly don't think they've had that in a long time.  They came back out ready to fight.  And they took it to the Steelers in the second half.  The offensive line was dominant for the most part.  The no huddle was effective (SHOCKING).  Hoyer looked far more comfortable.  The receiving corp that everyone was complaining about got open and caught the ball, and that was without Jordan Cameron.  And back the Browns came.  All the way back, behind the running game and offensive line and smart decisions by Hoyer.  Isaiah Crowell and Terrance West looked awesome.  Andrew Hawkins looked great.  Kyle Shannahan was in a groove calling plays, and never abandoned the run *cough cough Norv Turner*.  It all clicked.  Defensively, the Browns looked like an entirely different team.  They stuffed the run.  They rushed the passer.  They came back and forced a 3 and out after Pittsburgh converted a fake punt.  Jabaal Sheard played great.  Paul Kruger probably played his best game as a Brown.  They came all the way back to tie the game 27-27.  But they couldn't close the game out.  And a loss is a loss.  That's why I feel weird about the game.  The outcome was obviously not what they want but it's hard not to be encouraged by what they did in the second half.

And they probably could have won, but for a couple of calls that can be second guessed in hindsight.  The first was in the fourth quarter with the game tied, on a third and seven from the Pittsburgh 37.  The line had been outstanding and they were just outside of field goal range.  They had a tired Steeler defense on the ropes and all the momentum.  If they were out of Cundiff's range then the smart decision would have been to run the ball and either kick or go for it on 4th down.  They passed incomplete and ultimately punted (!!!) into the endzone.  If the kicker on your team can't kick a 54 yard field goal in perfect conditions then why is he on your team?  Honest question.  Not that he's automatically going to make it but that he doesn't even have the leg to try?  Disappointing.  The second decision was on the Browns final possession, after the sack on first down.  And I know Schwartz is going to take flak for giving it up but it looked like a three step drop and that ball should have been out.  They should have run the ball on second down and played for overtime.  Pettine is a rookie head coach.  He needs to learn how to win.  But there were encouraging signs, even in a loss.  And yes that pains me to think that way.

And I don't want to hear about what a great special teams coach Chris Tabor is.  I think he's terrible.  I've thought it since he got here.  Constant coverage breakdowns, Tank Carder is still on the team and he SUCKS, penalties, he left a gunner wide open so Pittsburgh could convert a fake punt.  He's terrible.  They better get that unit right they are not good enough to win if they lose on special teams.

And Justin Gilbert, it's hard to play cornerback in the NFL.  But boy oh boy you are a work in progress.  Hopefully there will be better days ahead for the rookie.

So the maybe the play that we've all seen so many times will be different.  Right now it looks the same, they are 0-1 in a bottom line business.  But this cast might play it out differently this time.  At least we get to keep our hope for another week. 


Random gifs

So this happened.......




Ouch Dez...



Your Tampa Bay Buccaneers everybody



Bonus Pic cereal guy is my new favorite fan.  Nice work buddy, sneaking in a box of Frosted Flakes.

Preseason Week 3

 

The one common theme since this sad sack franchise returned in 1999 is that they stink.  No matter what, no matter who the coach is, no matter what offensive and defensive system they run, no matter the players, since 1999 (save 2 decent seasons) the Browns STINK.  Based on the first 3 preseason games, they show no sign of stopping anytime soon.

It took three meaningless preseason games to kill any optimism I had for this team this season.  If anyone can make me feel better about this team based on what they've seen by all means let me know.  I'm dry.  I've got nothing.  It's the same play with a different cast.

Understand that I hate Jeff Fisher more than any other coach maybe ever.  That guy is a Class A Moron, a scumbag of incredible proportions, a man who colluded with the sanctimonious Tony Dungy to keep the Browns out of the playoffs in 2007, and the man who got Bernie Kosar removed from the preseason broadcasts.  Seriously I'm not even sure Solomon Wilcots watches the same game as I do.  So I hate the Rams.  I hate them, I hate Greg Williams he's the POS who had the bounty program in place in New Orleans.  Has a team ever had two coaches look like bigger sex predators?  I'd guess no.  I hate Jeff Fisher.  So there's that, and it makes me even more upset with the way the Browns played.

So okay rant over - and ok, I understand it's the preseason.  These games don't count ultimately.  The Browns probably didn't gameplan for the Rams.  They probably aren't showing their full offensive or defensive playbooks.  They were down an all pro cornerback.  I get all that.  But there is something really really wrong with letting Austin Davis and Shaun Hill march a team up and down the field against your starting defense.  There is something horribly wrong when the opponent converts 7-10 third downs against your starting defense.  There is something absolutely dreadfully wrong when you let the freaking RAMS convert on third down and 25, 19, 12 and 11.  When your first round pick can't even be bothered to attempt to tackle a wide receiver, instead opting to allow Chris Givens to run 75 yards into the endzone you've got problems.  And there were problems aplenty with the defense.  No pass rush to speak of, no sense of urgency.  Mingo runs around like a chicken with his head cut off on at least 50% of the plays he's in on.  They just looked bad.

And that's only the defense, supposedly Mike Pettine's specialty.  Jeez if that is the strength of our team we're in big big big trouble.

On offense, I'm glad we cleared up this Brian Hoyer/Johnny Manziel thing.  Because Hoyer, with all his studying and working hard, looked so much more in command of this superpowered offense.  What a joke.  What the hell are we watching?  Hoyer had a fumble and threw a horrible interception.  He completed his first 3 passes (all near the line of scrimmage).  He didn't once put the ball downfield.  Kyle Shurmur, offensive genius, brought him out into the 3rd quarter to let him hand off 3 times and punt.  Yeah we don't need to work on the passing game.  Let's bring our starter out (because we barely had the ball in the first half between the offensive ineptitude and the defensive incompetency) under the guise that we need the work, and HAND THE BALL OFF 3 TIMES.  Good lord IS THIS WHAT WE HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO?  Hoyer was awful I will not sugarcoat anything.  In case you're keeping score we've played three games and looked horrible in all three, on offense and defense.

Manziel came in and scored a touchdown, and also looked for more decisive than he had previously.  Unfortunately he's playing with a collection of turnstyles dressed up as offensive linemen.  Those guys all suck. Cut day is Tuesday, most of those jokers will be looking for a new job.  I actually long for Tuesday, so that Tank Carder can finally be put out to pasture he makes me so sad everytime I see him on the field.  All I know is this - if this is the best that hardworking studious Brian Hoyer can do, then I'd much rather have Manziel with all his supposed "struggles with the playbook" as my quarterback.  I understand that it is impossible for these old-guard NFL west coast offense morons to tailor their plays and gameplans for their personnel, but seriously even if Johnny can't call the plays he is at least exciting to watch, and also the future at the position.  Brian Hoyer is a 6 year vet who can't score touchdowns against preseason defenses WHAT THE HELL.  He has a command of the playbook.  Ok well - he can't execute the plays in said playbook, or said playbook sucks.  Because this offense looks stuck in the mud every time he's in.  Long story short Hoyer needs to play a hell of a lot better.

So here we are.  Two weeks from today the Browns will play a game that counts, against the Steelers in Pittsburgh.  We have seen nothing to inspire confidence, nor will we because the last exhibition game is a joke.  In two weeks, another season of Browns football kicks off, and lets hope that somehow, despite all we've seen so far this preseason, it won't be the same as all the others.

Preseason Week 2

I don't even know why I get excited to watch the Browns, especially in a stupid meaningless preseason game.  But I was, and then I sat through that disgusting display of offensive ineptitude, rivaling the Pat Shurmur offensive superpower of just a few seasons ago.

I really don't have much to say.  I can't understand how a team can consistently change offensive philosophies but still look the same bit of awful every year.  I get that it was the preseason, and it takes time.  I get it.  But knee jerk reactions are the way of the world, and the knee jerk reaction was that this offense STUNK up Landover last night.

The first team defense played well.  That's about the only silver lining on this one.  The Redskins were bailed out on their only long drive of the first half by multiple calls of defensive holding and illegal contact, including one on a 3rd and 19.  The NFL is such a joke now when it comes to the selective enforcement of the rules, one can only hope that this doesn't carry over to the regular season.  Games have been unwatchable, averaging something ridiculous like 19 penalties per game this preseason.  Regardless, the Browns first unit put together an impressive goal line stand.  The line looks stout, Dansby looked good, and the secondary is going to be good.  They forced turnovers, which is going to be a key to the Browns season.  Jim Leonhard had a nice pick 6, he should be a valuable backup.  Hopefully he can stay healthy.

As far as the second team, there were no standout performances.  Royce Adams probably played himself off the team after a rough performance.  But all and all no one really jumped out with the backups.

That brings us to the offense.  First off, I've said I think this will be Manziel's football team, and soon.  And I still think that.  I think that Hoyer should start some games and will probably be replaced at some point, and then it's Johnny's team.  That's the ideal scenario for me.  The problem is that Hoyer has looked like absolute garbage.  Everyone wants to blast Manziel and critique his performance, well all this could be avoided if Hoyer, a 6 year veteran, would just go out and complete few passes, move the ball, and score a touchdown or two.  Then I think we'd all be comfortable with the decision to start him, at least for the beginning of the season.  But he has flat out stunk this preseason.  I'm sorry, I know that Brian Hoyer defenders don't want to hear it.  And for some reason you can't like Hoyer without hating Manziel, which I don't understand.  I'm a Johnny Football fan bigtime but I don't dislike Hoyer.  But I'll tell the truth, and that truth is that Hoyer has stunk, and Johnny Football has played like a rookie.

One side note - why do have have plays that take 10 seconds to recite?  Chip Kelly calls his plays off a giant card on the sideline, 1 freaking word.  We have our rookie quarterback out here playing neanderthal football, memorizing 20 word play calls.  It should be fast and easy for him.  Uptempo is the trend, keeping pressure on a defense.  We are still playing 1980's football.  Stupid.  Anyways....

If Hoyer even plays marginally well I think that Pettine names him the starter and we all move forward.  But he just hasn't.

And Pettine deserves some blame for this circus.  Splitting reps and alternating series is not the way to go.  There is no chemistry, and that's the problem.  There are other problems for sure, but that's a big one.  Now we get to continue this into the 3rd preseason game.  Whatever the case, the offense stinks right now.  Hoyer hasn't gotten a first down all preseason.  Alex Mack is already in midseason form, forgetting the snap count on the first play.  Mitchell Schwartz, I'm done defending you I do it all the time and you keep getting put on roller skates.  The second team offensive line should be replaced in total.  The hardest hit a Brown had yesterday was Terrance West running over Alex Parsons, who was just standing there instead of blocking anybody.  They aren't very good.

Josh Gordon had NO interest in being out there yesterday.  Not sure if this possible suspension is in his head but he looked awful.  Jordan Cameron same thing.  Awful.  No effort as a blocker, minimal effort as a pass catcher.  Not sure what the problem was there.  Honestly Willie Snead looked like the only receiver with any energy yesterday.  Not that that quarterbacks put the ball on them that often, but c'mon.  Maybe our receivers are as bad as everyone says they are.

I'm not sure what else to say.  Maybe it's an overreaction to a preseason game.  Probably.  But it was bad enough that there are now serious concerns with this offense.  They need to get it figured out and soon, they have 19 days until the opener. 

Hopefully by then, we'll know who is number 1.  (I thought it was hilarious btw).

Preseason Game 1

I hate the NFL Preseason, it's an incredible tease.  However, it's football, and football kicks ass, and garbage football is better than no football, so FOOTBALL.

It's hard to know what exactly to takeaway from exhibition football games, even ones with Johnny MFing Football making his debut, but here's what I gleaned from the Browns 13-12 loss to the Lions in the famed GLC, the greatest of all meaningless preseason football games.

Sorry Brian Hoyer fans, but this will be Johnny's team, and soon.  We all know what Brian Hoyer is.  He's the girl next door.  Somewhat attractive, nice, friendly, easy to like.  Johnny Manziel is the stunner, the beauty queen.  Supercharged, smokin hot.  There's a chance he'll break your heart, but if you have the beauty queen you don't take out the girl next door. 

Hoyer had some decent moments, as he should as a 6 year vet in a preseason game with Josh Gordon to throw to and two pro bowl linemen in front of him.  He wasn't pressured.  He still doesn't look like he fully trusts his knee to me, but he looked exactly as he should, maybe a little better coming of the ACL tear.  And that's not to say that's a bad thing.  With the trash I've had to watch at quarterback the past few years I'd take it.  But Hoyer has a problem - Manziel can do things that Hoyer can't, and (probably soon, based on the rate he's supposedly picking up the offense) can do everything Hoyer can.

Manziel has plenty to learn, and was still pretty quick to take off when his primary read was covered, but it was tough to gauge with the trash playing offensive line in front of him.  Everything looked disjointed while he was in, and he was still able to move the ball.  (CATCH THE GD BALL WILLIE SNEAD)  He showed a live arm, quick feet, and after a couple of hits, figured out to slide and get out of bounds on two separate runs.  The game will slow down for him.  It will be his team soon though.

Manziel needs some time with the ones, with the starting o-line in front of him, to fully evaluate his comfort level within the offense.  But rest assured Brian Hoyer, Johnny's coming for you, and soon.

Speaking of the second team offensive line, they are terrible.  The problem in the NFL is that there are more roster spots around the league than there are good linemen to fill them.  Offensive line depth is an issue with most teams for that reason.  It's hard to find good linemen. 

At running back, you have to like watching Ben Tate see the hole and hit the hole.  Terrance West had some decent runs as well.  The Browns look to be in pretty good shape with those two.  Dion Lewis fumbled, and probably won't be on the final roster.  Edwin Baker or Chris Ogbonnaya should fight it out for the third running back spot.  MarQueis Gray is above average at fullback, a decent pass catcher who at least gives you that option off play action.

The wideouts dropped way too many passes, across the board.  Miles Austin and Josh Gordon both should have caught big passes from Hoyer.  Willie Snead and Jonathan Krause may have played their way off the roster.  Charles Johnson is an intriguing prospect who is worth watching more as the preseason goes on.  It should be noted that Jordan Cameron, Nate Burleson, and Travis Benjamin all didn't play.  I'm a big Andrew Hawkins fan.  I think he's going to be very good in this offense.  Gary Barnidge stinks.  But these guys need to catch the ball.

Defensively, the line is stacked.  Armonty Bryant is a stud, he's going to be hard to keep off the field.  With Rubin on the nose and Taylor, Winn, Des Bryant, Hughes, Kitchen the Browns are in really good shape.

Paul Kruger just does nothing for me, he did his classic hesitate, then slam into a blocker move a couple times and it was as ineffective as it always is.  Sheard and Mingo should be out there.  Robertson and Kirksey are going to battle it out to see who starts next to Dansby, both guys played pretty well.  Depth at linebacker is a concern, Tank Carder was embarrassing himself out there.  I'm rooting for you Justin Staples.

Come back soon Tashaun Gipson, I do not want to see Jordan Poyer as my starting free safety.  And welcome to the NFL Pierre Desir, you aren't at Lindenwood anymore.  He's clearly a work in progress.  It would have been nice to see Justin Gilbert out there.

I would have like to see what guys like Connor Shaw and Isaiah Crowell could do, but it's possible that the Browns are going to hold them back to sneak them on their practice squad and don't want to give other teams a look at them.

Also, NFL officiating still SUCKS.  And so does Soloman Wilcots GIVE ME BACK MY BERNIE!!!!!!!!!

The best thing that happened in this game is that no one got injured.

All and all it was a typical Browns game, a bunch of field goals until they find a way to lose in the end.  But Manziel is coming, and so are touchdowns and playoffs and excitement.  Hey it's early but we can dream, right?