Preseason Week 3

 

The one common theme since this sad sack franchise returned in 1999 is that they stink.  No matter what, no matter who the coach is, no matter what offensive and defensive system they run, no matter the players, since 1999 (save 2 decent seasons) the Browns STINK.  Based on the first 3 preseason games, they show no sign of stopping anytime soon.

It took three meaningless preseason games to kill any optimism I had for this team this season.  If anyone can make me feel better about this team based on what they've seen by all means let me know.  I'm dry.  I've got nothing.  It's the same play with a different cast.

Understand that I hate Jeff Fisher more than any other coach maybe ever.  That guy is a Class A Moron, a scumbag of incredible proportions, a man who colluded with the sanctimonious Tony Dungy to keep the Browns out of the playoffs in 2007, and the man who got Bernie Kosar removed from the preseason broadcasts.  Seriously I'm not even sure Solomon Wilcots watches the same game as I do.  So I hate the Rams.  I hate them, I hate Greg Williams he's the POS who had the bounty program in place in New Orleans.  Has a team ever had two coaches look like bigger sex predators?  I'd guess no.  I hate Jeff Fisher.  So there's that, and it makes me even more upset with the way the Browns played.

So okay rant over - and ok, I understand it's the preseason.  These games don't count ultimately.  The Browns probably didn't gameplan for the Rams.  They probably aren't showing their full offensive or defensive playbooks.  They were down an all pro cornerback.  I get all that.  But there is something really really wrong with letting Austin Davis and Shaun Hill march a team up and down the field against your starting defense.  There is something horribly wrong when the opponent converts 7-10 third downs against your starting defense.  There is something absolutely dreadfully wrong when you let the freaking RAMS convert on third down and 25, 19, 12 and 11.  When your first round pick can't even be bothered to attempt to tackle a wide receiver, instead opting to allow Chris Givens to run 75 yards into the endzone you've got problems.  And there were problems aplenty with the defense.  No pass rush to speak of, no sense of urgency.  Mingo runs around like a chicken with his head cut off on at least 50% of the plays he's in on.  They just looked bad.

And that's only the defense, supposedly Mike Pettine's specialty.  Jeez if that is the strength of our team we're in big big big trouble.

On offense, I'm glad we cleared up this Brian Hoyer/Johnny Manziel thing.  Because Hoyer, with all his studying and working hard, looked so much more in command of this superpowered offense.  What a joke.  What the hell are we watching?  Hoyer had a fumble and threw a horrible interception.  He completed his first 3 passes (all near the line of scrimmage).  He didn't once put the ball downfield.  Kyle Shurmur, offensive genius, brought him out into the 3rd quarter to let him hand off 3 times and punt.  Yeah we don't need to work on the passing game.  Let's bring our starter out (because we barely had the ball in the first half between the offensive ineptitude and the defensive incompetency) under the guise that we need the work, and HAND THE BALL OFF 3 TIMES.  Good lord IS THIS WHAT WE HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO?  Hoyer was awful I will not sugarcoat anything.  In case you're keeping score we've played three games and looked horrible in all three, on offense and defense.

Manziel came in and scored a touchdown, and also looked for more decisive than he had previously.  Unfortunately he's playing with a collection of turnstyles dressed up as offensive linemen.  Those guys all suck. Cut day is Tuesday, most of those jokers will be looking for a new job.  I actually long for Tuesday, so that Tank Carder can finally be put out to pasture he makes me so sad everytime I see him on the field.  All I know is this - if this is the best that hardworking studious Brian Hoyer can do, then I'd much rather have Manziel with all his supposed "struggles with the playbook" as my quarterback.  I understand that it is impossible for these old-guard NFL west coast offense morons to tailor their plays and gameplans for their personnel, but seriously even if Johnny can't call the plays he is at least exciting to watch, and also the future at the position.  Brian Hoyer is a 6 year vet who can't score touchdowns against preseason defenses WHAT THE HELL.  He has a command of the playbook.  Ok well - he can't execute the plays in said playbook, or said playbook sucks.  Because this offense looks stuck in the mud every time he's in.  Long story short Hoyer needs to play a hell of a lot better.

So here we are.  Two weeks from today the Browns will play a game that counts, against the Steelers in Pittsburgh.  We have seen nothing to inspire confidence, nor will we because the last exhibition game is a joke.  In two weeks, another season of Browns football kicks off, and lets hope that somehow, despite all we've seen so far this preseason, it won't be the same as all the others.

Preseason Week 2

I don't even know why I get excited to watch the Browns, especially in a stupid meaningless preseason game.  But I was, and then I sat through that disgusting display of offensive ineptitude, rivaling the Pat Shurmur offensive superpower of just a few seasons ago.

I really don't have much to say.  I can't understand how a team can consistently change offensive philosophies but still look the same bit of awful every year.  I get that it was the preseason, and it takes time.  I get it.  But knee jerk reactions are the way of the world, and the knee jerk reaction was that this offense STUNK up Landover last night.

The first team defense played well.  That's about the only silver lining on this one.  The Redskins were bailed out on their only long drive of the first half by multiple calls of defensive holding and illegal contact, including one on a 3rd and 19.  The NFL is such a joke now when it comes to the selective enforcement of the rules, one can only hope that this doesn't carry over to the regular season.  Games have been unwatchable, averaging something ridiculous like 19 penalties per game this preseason.  Regardless, the Browns first unit put together an impressive goal line stand.  The line looks stout, Dansby looked good, and the secondary is going to be good.  They forced turnovers, which is going to be a key to the Browns season.  Jim Leonhard had a nice pick 6, he should be a valuable backup.  Hopefully he can stay healthy.

As far as the second team, there were no standout performances.  Royce Adams probably played himself off the team after a rough performance.  But all and all no one really jumped out with the backups.

That brings us to the offense.  First off, I've said I think this will be Manziel's football team, and soon.  And I still think that.  I think that Hoyer should start some games and will probably be replaced at some point, and then it's Johnny's team.  That's the ideal scenario for me.  The problem is that Hoyer has looked like absolute garbage.  Everyone wants to blast Manziel and critique his performance, well all this could be avoided if Hoyer, a 6 year veteran, would just go out and complete few passes, move the ball, and score a touchdown or two.  Then I think we'd all be comfortable with the decision to start him, at least for the beginning of the season.  But he has flat out stunk this preseason.  I'm sorry, I know that Brian Hoyer defenders don't want to hear it.  And for some reason you can't like Hoyer without hating Manziel, which I don't understand.  I'm a Johnny Football fan bigtime but I don't dislike Hoyer.  But I'll tell the truth, and that truth is that Hoyer has stunk, and Johnny Football has played like a rookie.

One side note - why do have have plays that take 10 seconds to recite?  Chip Kelly calls his plays off a giant card on the sideline, 1 freaking word.  We have our rookie quarterback out here playing neanderthal football, memorizing 20 word play calls.  It should be fast and easy for him.  Uptempo is the trend, keeping pressure on a defense.  We are still playing 1980's football.  Stupid.  Anyways....

If Hoyer even plays marginally well I think that Pettine names him the starter and we all move forward.  But he just hasn't.

And Pettine deserves some blame for this circus.  Splitting reps and alternating series is not the way to go.  There is no chemistry, and that's the problem.  There are other problems for sure, but that's a big one.  Now we get to continue this into the 3rd preseason game.  Whatever the case, the offense stinks right now.  Hoyer hasn't gotten a first down all preseason.  Alex Mack is already in midseason form, forgetting the snap count on the first play.  Mitchell Schwartz, I'm done defending you I do it all the time and you keep getting put on roller skates.  The second team offensive line should be replaced in total.  The hardest hit a Brown had yesterday was Terrance West running over Alex Parsons, who was just standing there instead of blocking anybody.  They aren't very good.

Josh Gordon had NO interest in being out there yesterday.  Not sure if this possible suspension is in his head but he looked awful.  Jordan Cameron same thing.  Awful.  No effort as a blocker, minimal effort as a pass catcher.  Not sure what the problem was there.  Honestly Willie Snead looked like the only receiver with any energy yesterday.  Not that that quarterbacks put the ball on them that often, but c'mon.  Maybe our receivers are as bad as everyone says they are.

I'm not sure what else to say.  Maybe it's an overreaction to a preseason game.  Probably.  But it was bad enough that there are now serious concerns with this offense.  They need to get it figured out and soon, they have 19 days until the opener. 

Hopefully by then, we'll know who is number 1.  (I thought it was hilarious btw).

Preseason Game 1

I hate the NFL Preseason, it's an incredible tease.  However, it's football, and football kicks ass, and garbage football is better than no football, so FOOTBALL.

It's hard to know what exactly to takeaway from exhibition football games, even ones with Johnny MFing Football making his debut, but here's what I gleaned from the Browns 13-12 loss to the Lions in the famed GLC, the greatest of all meaningless preseason football games.

Sorry Brian Hoyer fans, but this will be Johnny's team, and soon.  We all know what Brian Hoyer is.  He's the girl next door.  Somewhat attractive, nice, friendly, easy to like.  Johnny Manziel is the stunner, the beauty queen.  Supercharged, smokin hot.  There's a chance he'll break your heart, but if you have the beauty queen you don't take out the girl next door. 

Hoyer had some decent moments, as he should as a 6 year vet in a preseason game with Josh Gordon to throw to and two pro bowl linemen in front of him.  He wasn't pressured.  He still doesn't look like he fully trusts his knee to me, but he looked exactly as he should, maybe a little better coming of the ACL tear.  And that's not to say that's a bad thing.  With the trash I've had to watch at quarterback the past few years I'd take it.  But Hoyer has a problem - Manziel can do things that Hoyer can't, and (probably soon, based on the rate he's supposedly picking up the offense) can do everything Hoyer can.

Manziel has plenty to learn, and was still pretty quick to take off when his primary read was covered, but it was tough to gauge with the trash playing offensive line in front of him.  Everything looked disjointed while he was in, and he was still able to move the ball.  (CATCH THE GD BALL WILLIE SNEAD)  He showed a live arm, quick feet, and after a couple of hits, figured out to slide and get out of bounds on two separate runs.  The game will slow down for him.  It will be his team soon though.

Manziel needs some time with the ones, with the starting o-line in front of him, to fully evaluate his comfort level within the offense.  But rest assured Brian Hoyer, Johnny's coming for you, and soon.

Speaking of the second team offensive line, they are terrible.  The problem in the NFL is that there are more roster spots around the league than there are good linemen to fill them.  Offensive line depth is an issue with most teams for that reason.  It's hard to find good linemen. 

At running back, you have to like watching Ben Tate see the hole and hit the hole.  Terrance West had some decent runs as well.  The Browns look to be in pretty good shape with those two.  Dion Lewis fumbled, and probably won't be on the final roster.  Edwin Baker or Chris Ogbonnaya should fight it out for the third running back spot.  MarQueis Gray is above average at fullback, a decent pass catcher who at least gives you that option off play action.

The wideouts dropped way too many passes, across the board.  Miles Austin and Josh Gordon both should have caught big passes from Hoyer.  Willie Snead and Jonathan Krause may have played their way off the roster.  Charles Johnson is an intriguing prospect who is worth watching more as the preseason goes on.  It should be noted that Jordan Cameron, Nate Burleson, and Travis Benjamin all didn't play.  I'm a big Andrew Hawkins fan.  I think he's going to be very good in this offense.  Gary Barnidge stinks.  But these guys need to catch the ball.

Defensively, the line is stacked.  Armonty Bryant is a stud, he's going to be hard to keep off the field.  With Rubin on the nose and Taylor, Winn, Des Bryant, Hughes, Kitchen the Browns are in really good shape.

Paul Kruger just does nothing for me, he did his classic hesitate, then slam into a blocker move a couple times and it was as ineffective as it always is.  Sheard and Mingo should be out there.  Robertson and Kirksey are going to battle it out to see who starts next to Dansby, both guys played pretty well.  Depth at linebacker is a concern, Tank Carder was embarrassing himself out there.  I'm rooting for you Justin Staples.

Come back soon Tashaun Gipson, I do not want to see Jordan Poyer as my starting free safety.  And welcome to the NFL Pierre Desir, you aren't at Lindenwood anymore.  He's clearly a work in progress.  It would have been nice to see Justin Gilbert out there.

I would have like to see what guys like Connor Shaw and Isaiah Crowell could do, but it's possible that the Browns are going to hold them back to sneak them on their practice squad and don't want to give other teams a look at them.

Also, NFL officiating still SUCKS.  And so does Soloman Wilcots GIVE ME BACK MY BERNIE!!!!!!!!!

The best thing that happened in this game is that no one got injured.

All and all it was a typical Browns game, a bunch of field goals until they find a way to lose in the end.  But Manziel is coming, and so are touchdowns and playoffs and excitement.  Hey it's early but we can dream, right?